Superstar actor Jay Baruchel surprised the media on Monday with an announcement he’ll be hosting his own YouTube cooking show with the small upstart “Geeks Under the Influence Media Network.” The How to Train Your Dragon star went on to explain his decision.
Photo from bushes courtesy of Mike the Hobbit
Via the Hollywood Reporter:
“I’ve gotten a lot of letters over the years from their CEO. He goes by Hobbit I think?, which is weird. Anyway, he always writes me these very sweet letters. I think he spritzes them with something that smells like roses and lavender. It’s really quite pleasant. But yeah, he always finishes his letters by saying if there’s a project no one wants to take on, he’s super interested. So one day I try to make an Alfredo sauce… and BAM! It turns out great! It got me to thinking why don’t I have my own cooking show?”
Jay Baruchel has been mentioned on nearly every episode of the Geeks Under the Influence Podcast, and is regularly called “the greatest actor of our generation” by their host, Mike The Hobbit. Jay continues:
“That would’ve been the end of it, but then I got super baked and e-mailed Frodo the idea. Sorry, Hobbit. That’s such a stupid nickname. It’s like a whole species. Why name yourself after an entire fictional species? Sorry, I’m pretty high right now. So HOBBIT loves the idea, and sends me an offer to do a web series called “Bechamel With Baruchel.” The title was his idea. He says puns and alliteration are “on brand” whatever that means. I’m hesitant, but the offer is super generous, so I accept. I fly down to Virginia to film next week! He insisted I stay at his house which, y’know weird, but anyone willing to pay me what he offered has gotta have a baller house! He also wanted to wait to pay me in person. Y’know, I’m starting to get a bad feeling about this.”
Baruchel being pelted with chocolate hearts by a masked assailant screaming “greatest actor of our generation!”
Geeks Under the Influence and Hobbit declined any official statement about the collaboration, but upon speaking with their podcast Co-Host Lowdown Brown MacGyver, he responded with “Hobbit did what? Are you fucking kidding me? Sorry, no comment. What a psycho.” We will stay on this story as it develops, and April Fool’s Day, geeks!
The interview mentioned didn’t happen, and this article is a total fabrication. Well, except for the part where Jay Baruchel is our generations greatest living actor. That part is true. Jay, call me.
Let me set the stage by admitting that I spent my tween and teen years squarely in the 1990s from end to end. My early youth was spent admiring and/or acquiring Lisa Frank™ stickers and stationery. My teen years were filled with suburban angst and gritty grunge. All of these experiences were recalled as I immersed myself in the world of Captain Marvel.
As you have probably gleaned from the teasers and trailers, the movie has been set up to feel like a female empowerment movie. The official release date even coincided with International Women’s Day #BalanceBetter, whether purposefully or not is unknown to this writer. While the women in the movie do show strength, fortitude, and persistence, the movie itself is an origin story through and through. The hero questions herself, her powers, and her past as all of the heroes in the Marvel cinematic universe have. In the small moments, the movie does lead by example in celebrating diversity, inclusion, and acceptance. There is just enough teaching without being too didactic or in your face. Generally, though, the story follows a similar template to its predecessors.
The fight choreography is smooth and seamless like a martial arts-influenced dance or capoeira. The CGI is nearly flawless with very few trips through the Uncanny Valley. This includes the de-aging of our beloved, omnipresent Agents Coulson and Fury. With every show of power, the moviegoers are treated to a light show of sparkles and glitter reminiscent of Lisa Frank™. The costume designers clearly had fun with this movie because every detail is beautiful, era-appropriate, and/or an inside joke with the audience. This writer dreamed of dressing as a grunge goddess as a teen in jeans ripped at the knee, band t-shirts, flannel shirts, and leather jackets just like the Terran characters.
Through all of the flash and bang, the real scene stealer is Goose, the kitty Fury is enamored with in the trailer. This adorable orange tabby appears throughout the movie delighting the audience in every way a beloved kitty can. With every purr, lick, and leg nuzzle, moviegoers may feel compelled to search for clues or foreshadowing. Instead, what one does find are several nods to 1990s pop culture such as Blockbuster video and “Top Gun”.
The original motion picture soundtrack is filled with every single go-to karaoke song I have on my handcrafted list. Did the music department steal my karaoke list? Highly unlikely. From Elastica to Nirvana, No Doubt to TLC, every song was from a wide range of genres, handpicked to match the landscape, evoke a specific emotion, and pluck the nostalgic heartstrings of everyone who lived through the 1990s. The soundtrack is like an aural love letter to every Xennial who watches the movie.
A little fun game to play: How many times is “Captain Marvel” said during the movie?
A new year has arrived, and with it comes a renewed sense of optimism about our future. The struggles we’ve faced over the past year will remain in the past, and 2019 will be a banner year full of growth, improvement, and success! Or will it?! Below are the top 5 films that took place in the dystopian “future” of 2019. The future is not yet written, and that’s a good thing. Because if 2019 is anything like these movies predicted, we’re in for a bumpy ride!
Two years before he transformed our childhood into a CGI orgy of giant robot explosions, Michael Bay directed this surprisingly enjoyable film starring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson. It touches on the classic Sci-Fi question: What does it mean to be alive, and what makes us human? While some more adept filmmakers used this very question as the main focal point (for example Moon directed by Duncan Jones), Bay uses it as a plot point to drive a Sci-Fi Action spectacle.
With The Island taking place only 14 years after the year it released (2005), not much seems different. The one major fashion point here is the return of the Track Suit. Hip-Hop aficionados will be overjoyed to know 2019 will be full of subservient walking organ farms dressed and ready for the next Run DMC show.
Play “It’s Tricky” already!
Other Sci-Fi stuff of note: Hoverbikes, Hovertrains, & The ability to clone Scarlett Johansson
4. Daybreakers (2009)
Release Date To a “Future” 2019: 10 Years
If this year becomes anything close to the “sucky” future of Daybreakers, then start sharpening your stakes! Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe fight to save the last remnants of humankind against the new dominant species: Sam Neill. The film feels like the demonic lovechild of Blade, and the original novel I Am Legend.
This entry has the shortest prediction on the list, guessing a world overrun with bloodsuckers in 10 measly years from the film’s release. Clothing is relatively unchanged, but accessories are quite different. Say you’re an endangered human going on a casual stroll at night. Maybe you’re looking for supplies? A midnight rendezvous with a fellow survivor? Well, what nighttime excursion would be complete without the Thruhart 666 Combination Shotgun/Crossbow! When you absolutely, positively have to kill every bloodsucker in the room… Accept no substitutes.
Mere moments before Elvis (Willem Dafoe) begins singing “You Give Love a Bad Name.”
Other Sci-Fi stuff of note: Human Blood Farms, “Lightproof” Driver-Assistance HUD Vehicles, & The Cure For Ethan Hawke’s pasty complexion
Release Date To a “Future” 2019: 32 Years (The film spans between 2017 – 2019, with the primary events taking place in 2019)
What do you get when mixing a badly adapted Stephen King story, 80’s era Arnold Schwarzenegger, & lots of cocaine (probably)? An 80’s movie! Then to top it off, get Paul Michael Glaser (TV’s Det. Dave Starsky of Starsky & Hutch) to direct. That maniacal combination gave us an absolute bonkers 80’s action classic by the name of The Running Man!
80’s dystopian films are just the best, aren’t they? Where else are you gonna get a retro-future yellow singlet-clad buff Austrian delivering a barrage one liners whilst murdering the hell out of an opera singing Christmas light display? Okay, besides Amsterdam. The biggest lesson we learn from The Running Man, is the importance of light up, high visibility clothing when in a fight to the death. The other lesson? Jesse Ventura looks damn good in spandex!
The New Tron Movie Looks Like Trash
Music Video For The Bryan Adams Hit, “Captain Freedom”
Other Sci-Fi stuff of note: Superior Video Manipulation Technology, Gameshows And Murder Porn Form An Unholy Union, & Friggin’ Jetpacks!
What can be said about Akira that hasn’t been said a million times in Anime thought pieces or YouTube Breakdown videos? It’s a Masterpiece well deserving of being one of the most iconic Anime films of all time. For those 3 people in the world that haven’t seen it, the basic gist is this: A motorcycle gang member attains psychic powers from a secret military project.
Nothing terrible happens, and everyone is happy and safe.
Okay, that’s obviously untrue. Chaos begins to ensue, and as always, bikers and psychic children must save the day. Though it shares some of the classic tropes of dystopian Anime, Akira stands in a class of it’s own. It’s nearly always one of the first Anime films you see when being introduced to the genre along with My Neighbor Totoro and Grave of the Fireflies.
Original or not, Akira does maintain that 80’s Retro-Future aesthetic. Clean lines and sharp features of the architecture and vehicles contrasts beautifully against the broken and featureless rubble. Kaneda’s all-red outfit looks like he’s doing Eddie Murphy’s Delirious cosplay, and it really works. This movie makes you wanna go buy an 80’s Toyota Supra, push up the sleeves on your Members Only Jacket, and tear through the streets of Neo Tokyo blasting Hasselhoff whilst fighting off the end of the world.
…Or maybe that’s just me?
Hellbent, hellbent for Tetsuo!
Other Sci-Fi stuff of note: Cronenberg-ian Psychic Bio-Mutant, Neo-City Built On The Rubble Of Previous City, Sweet Future Motorcycles
Oh, you knew what was gonna be number one! Blade Runner bombed in the box office, and thanks to VHS and DVD, became one of the most important Sci-Fi films of all time. Loosely based on Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep?, Director Ridley Scott weaves a noir tale of intrigue, love, murder, and like #5 on our list, the classic Sci-Fi question: What does it mean to be alive, and what makes us human? Blade Runner has 7 different edits, but the Director’s Cut and Final Cut are the most common.
This film breathes atmosphere, and that’s partly due to the seamless mix of classic detective noir clothing and dystopian aesthetic. The timeless quality of the clothing style let’s this movie feel modern, even if the film quality and effects say otherwise. Something as simple as an umbrella becomes tonally important to the film. We should be so lucky to have a 2019 that looks as good as Blade Runner. Well, maybe less rainy would be good.
Shirley Manson would be ecstatic right now
Other Sci-Fi stuff of note: Flying Cars, Replicants With An Identity Crisis, Noodle Cart Wishes, And Unicorn Dreams
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Hobbit and guest(s) pitch ideas for Movie/TV Reboots, Remakes, Reimaginings, Sequels, Sidequels, Mash-Ups, & Adaptations.
On this episode, Hobbit and Kyle Smash (Smashtalk Podcast) pitch about their ideas for Monster Squad reboot and sequel.
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www.imdb.com/title/tt0093560/
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● Track Info ●
“In A World”, “HipHop1” and “TemptingFate” by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com)
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US
Join Us Every 1st and 3rd Monday at Fallout, and every 2nd and 4th Tuesday at Wonderland for GUI Trivia! 8-10 pm
“Geeks Under the Influence” and “Smack My Pitch Up” are trademarks of Michael Bickett. All other trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners.
A GEEKS UNDER THE INFLUENCE weekly “Pre-Cap.”
The Bruce fills you in on must see TV shows and movies for the week of 02/12/17!
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Join Us Every 1st and 3rd Monday at Fallout, and every 2nd and 4th Tuesday at Wonderland for GUI Trivia! 8-10 pm
